Just hours after the senate voted to acquit Donald Trump, Saturday Night Live lampooned some of the very Republicans who helped the former president avoid conviction.
The episode opened with a Fox News parody, hosted by “human White Claw” Tucker Carlson (played by Alex Moffat). After a loose collection of scare-mongering non-sequiturs, Carlson cut to an interview with Kate McKinnon’s Sen. Lindsey Graham.
“It’s a great day for 30 percent of America,” Graham said. “This trial was offensive and absurd — like a frickin’ episode of Rick and Morty.
“We all agree the attack on the Capitol was a horrible thing, but just because the rioters were yelling ‘fight for Trump’ doesn’t mean they meant Donald Trump,” Graham argued. “Could’ve been some real Tiffanyheads, maybe even some Eric stans, I don’t know. Regardless, the trial is over and now we can move past this and focus on the serious issues: Locking up Hillary and freeing beautiful Britney Spears.”
Graham was then joined by fellow Trump lackey, Aidy Bryant’s Sen. Ted Cruz.
“Like any impartial juror, we took it upon ourselves to meet with the defense lawyers to give them some very simple legal advice, like ‘Stop!’ and ‘Don’t!’” Cruz said. Added Graham, “Ted and I are extremely proud of Trump’s lawyers, who are both partners at the law firm of Cellino & Yikes.”
What followed were excerpts from the trial featuring Trump’s attorneys Bruce Castor (Mikey Day) Michael van der Veen (Pete Davidson). The latter, whose name is allegedly dutch for “Man of the Penis,” declared the impeachment trial the “worst thing that’s been in the senate chamber in the history of… a couple of weeks.”
Last but not least was a one-on-one interview with Mitch McConnell (played again by Beck Bennett), who voted to acquit Trump.
“Everyone knows you cannot impeach a former president,” he argued. “That’s why we should have impeached him before, back when I said we couldn’t.”
Eventually, Carlson asked the senate minority leader what he really thinks of Trump. “I think he’s guilty as hell, and the worst person I ever met!” he answered. “I hope every city, county and state locks his ass up!”
After getting that off his neck, McConnell revealed what he has planned for the Biden administration: “I don’t know about my colleagues, but I plan to reach my hand across the aisle… and then yank it back, slide it across my hair and say, ‘Too slow!’”
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